2008 Woodie Awards
The Text for Shoes, Cooking, Foot Sex?!
Kevin Keating
Issue date: 12/8/03 Section: Arts
[Editor's Note: The following is a selection from Kevin Keating's performance art piece Shoes, Cooking, and Foot Sex?! featured in the Winter Brew Festival]
II. Shoes
Hey. I'm Kevin. A boy. At least, that's what I was until yesterday. Yesterday I kinda thought I might not be. Today, I'm not really sure. I'm not really sure what that means, either.- to be a boy. Yesterday was like this:
I get up, do all of that boring morning stuff like brushing my teeth, eating, and taking a shower - though not in that order. Then, because people apparently shouldn't be naked all the time, I put on my clothes - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle underwear, a purple and yellow Magic Johnson t-shirt and matching shorts - the ones that make it look like you're wearing two pairs - yellow ones underneath and purple on top - but actually it's just one pair.
At school, I go to the playground where I can see some of my friends from class have already arrived and are playing on the jungle gym. I don't really like climbing the jungle gym, but every day usually go up a couple steps and kinda sit there, or sometimes crawl inside it and try to jump and reach the top.
Today, I sit in my usual place - on the purple bar under the red one and on top of the blue one - facing the door to my classroom, so I could be the first one in line when the whistle is blown to go to class. So here I am sitting there, kinda swinging back and forth - not too far - I don't want to fall off, and a couple fourth or fifth graders or maybe tall third graders but I don't think so come up to me.
"Hey," one of them says to me, "What are you doing?" I'm not really doing anything but sitting there kinda swinging, so I say "I'm just sitting here kinda swinging." "Why don't you climb up this like you're supposed to?" I lie.
"Uh. I um ... was just up there. I climb up all the time. I'm just taking a break." They don't buy it. "You're lying. You're scared. Sissy." "Haha, he's a sissy" another of the boys say. "Sissy chicken, sissy chicken they start chanting." I look around to make sure no one else is watching. And everybody is watching. Everybody is listening.
II. Shoes
Hey. I'm Kevin. A boy. At least, that's what I was until yesterday. Yesterday I kinda thought I might not be. Today, I'm not really sure. I'm not really sure what that means, either.- to be a boy. Yesterday was like this:
I get up, do all of that boring morning stuff like brushing my teeth, eating, and taking a shower - though not in that order. Then, because people apparently shouldn't be naked all the time, I put on my clothes - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle underwear, a purple and yellow Magic Johnson t-shirt and matching shorts - the ones that make it look like you're wearing two pairs - yellow ones underneath and purple on top - but actually it's just one pair.
At school, I go to the playground where I can see some of my friends from class have already arrived and are playing on the jungle gym. I don't really like climbing the jungle gym, but every day usually go up a couple steps and kinda sit there, or sometimes crawl inside it and try to jump and reach the top.
Today, I sit in my usual place - on the purple bar under the red one and on top of the blue one - facing the door to my classroom, so I could be the first one in line when the whistle is blown to go to class. So here I am sitting there, kinda swinging back and forth - not too far - I don't want to fall off, and a couple fourth or fifth graders or maybe tall third graders but I don't think so come up to me.
"Hey," one of them says to me, "What are you doing?" I'm not really doing anything but sitting there kinda swinging, so I say "I'm just sitting here kinda swinging." "Why don't you climb up this like you're supposed to?" I lie.
"Uh. I um ... was just up there. I climb up all the time. I'm just taking a break." They don't buy it. "You're lying. You're scared. Sissy." "Haha, he's a sissy" another of the boys say. "Sissy chicken, sissy chicken they start chanting." I look around to make sure no one else is watching. And everybody is watching. Everybody is listening.
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